They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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