I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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