I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
