we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
