I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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