If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize