honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
