the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
