yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
