Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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