The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
