We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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