I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
