i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
