I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
