Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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