Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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