I'm eating all of the evidence.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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