doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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