i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
