I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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