just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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