did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm bleeding and have questions
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize