Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
