I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
