I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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