I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
