Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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