Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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