I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
