me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
