I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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