I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
