I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
