Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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