everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
