so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
