i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
