Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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