East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
