Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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