my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
