Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
