I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
