Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think my moral compass just broke
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