didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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