he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
