Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
