What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
