when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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