when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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