be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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